Jane and Skip Pearson, August 2009
Two years ago on Christmas day, we said goodbye to our beloved Grandpa Skip. He was diagnosed with cancer right before Thanksgiving and quickly went downhill. It was a very fast, very sad goodbye and it was so hard because he seemed to be in good health one week then the next was getting horrible news that he had cancer all throughout his body and there really wasn't any hope.
At about the same time as Grandpa's death, I feel that we also started to say goodbye to my beloved Grandma Jane. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about three or so years ago. The day of Grandpa's funeral was obviously a difficult one but it was hard in many ways. We had the funeral and then went in the limo to the graveside for the service. It was a cold January day in Indiana and grandma got out of the limo, walked over and sat down where she was supposed to sit next to the casket and then once it finished up, quickly got up to leave. There was no visible emotion on her face and she was very matter of fact about getting back into the limo and out of the cold. It wasn't the type of response you would expect from a new widow who had been married to my Grandpa for so many years. It was hard to understand but I quickly realized it wasn't her....it was the disease. I realized that mourning looks completely different for someone struggling with Alzheimer's.
Grandma soon moved into an assisted living facility and currently has her own apartment. She eats all of her meals there and participates in the various activities and has overall done well there. It was hard selling the Pearson family home so quickly after Grandpa's passing but it had to be done. There was no way Grandma could live there on her own.
My Grandma Jane is an exceptional woman. She was known by my college friends as "Grandma Jane" and they all knew and loved her. They loved how she would pry in their business asking about boys and dating all the time. That was her focus....who was dating and why so and so didn't have a boyfriend.
Grandma successfully raised four fantastic children teaching them what hard work looked like and how to give your best and not quit. She was a real go getter and really pushed her kids to perfection. She and my grandpa put God first and stressed the importance of strong moral character.
Grandma was the life of the party. She was often loud and involved in multiple conversations at the same time. She loved to have a good time, talk to her friends on the phone, entertain, keep house and dress in loud, sequined covered clothes and loud earrings. She would often laugh so hard over something that she would wet her pants :) She enjoyed life and lived it to the fullest!
Today is a hard day. I am writing this to process through my thoughts and emotions. I found out today that my mom and her siblings have been informed that Grandma has to move out of her current assisted living facility and into a specialized Alzheimer's facility. We knew this day would come. We have known for several month now. My grandma had done so well and had seemed to really plateau with the disease (if that is possible). All of the changed a while back when grandma took off from her facility on foot for the first time.....so far she hasn't done it again. That was a big deal and not a good sign at all. She walked down a busy street in my hometown about 3 miles until someone recognized her and picked her up. She didn't know where she was going and really couldn't recall what had happened after she was brought home....this isn't her...its the disease.
This is a sad disease because it truly is a slow goodbye. Gone are the days of sitting in church with Grandma and getting embarrassed because she is talking to the person next to her a little too loud. Gone are the days when she wants to know all about things and pries into your business. Now she is quiet and sits there with a blank look on her face....its not her....its the disease. One of the saddest parts for me is that her laughter is gone. No more laughing fits where she might wet herself.
It's also hard because she was the proudest Grandma and Great Grandma and I don't even know if she knows that we are expecting baby #3. I could have told her in person when I was there over Thanksgiving but I just couldn't bring myself to because I didn't want to see the confusion that might be on her face. I want to remember the joy on her face when she heard the news at the same time as my parents when we announced that Will, our first born, was on the way. It was at her house, my mother's childhood home at Christmas time. Such a special memory that I will always treasure. I want to remember her holding Josh in the below picture knowing that in that picture she completely knew and understood what was going on.
I really love the picture at the top of this post of she and my Grandpa. That picture was taken at my cousin, Keith's wedding. I love how it captures Grandma's smile. I so miss those days.
Alzheimer's is a hard, sad, slow, disease. There is no cure. It will just get worse and then one day, it will take my Grandma home to Heaven to be with Grandpa Skip and most importantly God Himself. I long for that day for her. I desire for the day when her mind will be made whole again and she will once again be full of life and laughter.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28
I am so thankful that God is right with my Grandma now and will be with her every step of the way until He heals her when she leaves this life and enters into Heaven.
I am so very thankful for the HOPE we have in Christ!
